How to Escape the Emotional Loop
Uplifting or heartbreaking, I believe our emotions are there to teach us something. But when you are a highly sensitive person or an introvert, you know that feelings can either be your greatest friend or your worst enemy.
We’re all different, yet I consider this one piece of advice to be helpful: Accept your feelings, but don’t let them become part of who you are. Keep in your mind that you are not sadness itself, you just feel sad.
It’s all fun and games ….until it’s not. And then you start feeling trapped – it’s what I call an emotional loop. So what do you do when it gets too much up there? How do you fight back when the darkest feelings crawl inside your heart and demand to be felt?
In her book, The Comprehensive INFP Survival Guide, Heidi Priebe shares the vision of a fellow introvert who perceives her feelings like visitors. Some of them are nice, others unwanted. Just like real life visitors, they all leave in the end.
This article is based on the information in the book and inspired by it. You will find me mentioning the INFP personality type here and there, but this article is dedicated to all who need it. I hope this helps.
Reserve time to deal with and accept your emotions. There’s nothing worse than ignoring feelings – especially when you are an INFP. Write them down if it helps you have a clearer image.
“We’re supposed to feel, we’re supposed to love and hate and hurt and grieve and break and be destroyed and rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again. That is human. That is humanity. That’s being alive. That’s the point.”
Try to logically understand your current situation. Don’t trust your brain when feeling low. ‘Cause your mind will do its best to focus on the negative and offer you generous details from your memories. You’ll be given many examples of when you failed and why it happened.
It could be just one random event where you felt awkward being at. And that could easily develop into “I hate all parties and I don’t even like people.”
Or you might remember a single time when all you wanted was to be home alone, and turn it into : “I should never leave my house.”
What you need to do is to expose yourself to new scenarios to prove yourself it’s not all black and white. You might not like parties much, but you could actually enjoy intellectual events where you can meet like-minded people.
Even if the new experiences don’t bring you the positive feelings you need, it’s still better exposing yourself to new situations and learning something from them than feeling stuck inside your head.
You might think the problem is out there, but it’s just inside. Did you know many INFPs start decorating their places when it gets messy up there? (Myself included) While this could be therapeutic, it’s not very effective.
- I know this is something difficult, but you could try and share your thoughts with close friends who will offer you their fresh perspective.
- Practice self care as a proof to yourself that you still know your worth.
- Go jogging.
- Think of what you need to change in your life and, most importantly, DO IT!
- Remember: Comparison is the enemy. You might genuinely believe that others have better lives because of their specific qualities – which you lack. Well, success is SO MUCH more than a set of skills. And you might not even want their kind of success when you understand how they define it.
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